Tomorrow I start my final semester at University. In 6 months I will have my degree. My excitement is marred only slightly by the hideous hacking cough I have developed over the last week. Lovely.
I’m wondering if I will miss being at Saint Lucia. I love the campus; the green trees and courtyards, the rambling sandstone buildings with their Latin engravings and old-world feel. Despite the beauty of the place, I have never really felt connected the university as I feel like I should have. . . it’s never felt like home to me or brought me any particular pleasure. It’s strange that somewhere like Plattsburgh, with it’s cold, concrete, industrial soul, felt more like home than the magnificence and warmth of UQ. I wonder if that reflects on me. . . I have fears though, about graduating; I’ve spent my whole life at school. I’ve always have the comfort and solace of academic life, and soon that will be gone and I will truly be on my own. It’s a normal fear, but I feel a certain emptiness towards the future which worries me. . . such uncertainty about where I will go or what I can do is creeping around my brain.
I do feel some excitement though, towards the future, I just wish I was more sure of what lay ahead but, I suppose no one is. I would write more but my head is pounding and I can’t think over the dull roar. I think I might go for a walk and clear my head.
Time to think.